Friday, January 24, 2014

(Mis)Adventures with Angels -Appearances Can Be Deceiving

one of my "angel stories"
this one from my book
ANGELS, GUIDES, ANCESTORS available on Amazon

8 Angels:  Function & Appearance

Angels are incarnate beings, meaning they are, by definition, spiritual beings that take on a human form.  They are messengers sent from God.  They can deliver messages from God or be sent from God in a response to human need. 
One of the more difficult things about identifying angels is that they have been portrayed in so many different ways over the ages, it becomes difficult to know what we are looking for. 
Remember that angels are incarnate and they will take on whatever human-like form is necessary in order to fulfill God’s command.  They will appear to you in whatever way will be most understandable and acceptable to you.  One of my personal examples of this is as follows.
Due travel arrangements going very much awry, my sister and I found ourselves stranded after midnight at a bus station in a very seedy part of town - it was an area noted for muggings and robberies.  We were dressed to the nines, with a wheel chair, and obviously did not blend in with the crowd.  I was able to contact a wheel chair cab company just before my cell phone died; although we were hopeful that the cab would get there, we were not at all certain that it would be dispatched for at least half an hour.
We looked about to see where might be the best place to hide out.  We searched for somewhere we might see the transportation should it actually show up, while at the same time trying to be hidden from the bevy of panhandlers and those obviously inebriated and / or high on some form of pharmaceuticals.
We “surveyed the land” and saw there was only one suitable place to sit – one that did not have a body passed out in, over, or under it.  The location was outside, where snow was falling lightly; given the geography and time of the year, the bench outside was too cold for most of the people.  My sister and I were well dressed and we agreed to make it to that particular bench and hope for the best waiting outside.  We dragged ourselves and our belongings over to the bench - amid whistles, cat calls, requests for money, drugs and other things we did not understand but were sure were not flattering or offers to be considered. 
We had not even caught our breath before the first obviously inebriated body approached us.  We were able to deflect him but he was obviously not happy.  Suddenly, a “local” young man came from around the corner and plopped himself on the small empty spot on the bench beside me.  My immediate thought was “Oh, No! This could be trouble.”  As I steeled myself for a long night, I realized the man looked like everyone but was clear eyed and did not smell of alcohol.  I turned to look at him, and he simply said, “I’ll stay here as long as you need me.”  I thought it a rather odd thing to say but was too tired to argue; so I just sat there counting the minutes until the transport was due to arrive.  I began to notice this “local” was deflecting everyone who came our way.
The transport did finally show and my sister and I breathed a sigh of relief as we lugged our heavy belongings to it.  The young man was right behind us with the belongings we had been unable to manage on our initial trip; he deftly fit all our big things in the small trunk of the transport.
I bent my head for less than thirty seconds to get out a tip and when I looked up he was gone.  My sister and I were confused.  It was then we noticed that there were only two sets of foot prints (hers and mine) everywhere the three of us had been.
That was an example of God responding to our spoken or unspoken cry for help by sending a “one time” angel. 

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Angels, Guides, Amcestors - the book first 17 pages

my book  the first 17 pages

Angels, Guides, Ancestors

By Connie Dohan

Copyright © 2012 Connie Dohan
Editor:  Alice Langholt
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 1479106410
ISBN-13: 978-1479106417


I did not always walk with angels and commune with all the other helper beings the universe has provided for us.
I had heard of angels, in fact a Christmas tree usually had one on top of it.  I did not realize that angels actually existed along with guides and ancestors as a valuable resource readily available to help us any time.
In my early thirties, I found myself a wife and mother and bound by the chains of end stage Parkinson’s disease.  Stiff, drooling, incontinent, unable to hold a pen or spoon, words coming out all jumbled, and all the wonders of Medical Technology within my reach, I continued to deteriorate.  I spent long periods confined to bed with many, many hours to review my situation.
I determined that all my years of training as a registered nurse and all my life experience were of no value in the world in which I now found myself.  I had certainly tried the appropriate medical treatments with little or no results.  I decided that if looking inside the box for all the answers did not work, perhaps it was time to look outside the box.  What did I have to lose?  I had given man (medical science) the chance to fix me and I could not even get out bed by myself.  So I decided to go to the Source.  I said to the universe, “God, you made me; you fix me.  It’s time for the real thing; no generic parts list or factory substitutions.”
Zappo!  Nothing – at least not instantaneously!  However, over the next few weeks, as I had left myself open to receive, I began to receive small answers in synchronicities and coincidences.  As I learned to open myself up more, I began to realize that these signs and symbols that were falling onto my path were at the hands of helper beings.
What I now see as angels, guides, and deceased loved ones, I saw for many years as just “helper beings”.  I had just lumped them all together as helpers from heaven, not really caring about what rank or status they held.
I do not believe I am alone in my desire to communicate with these beings.  As a teacher, one of the most popular questions from my students continues to be, “What do my angels look like, and can you draw them?”
This book attempts to help you identify and communicate with the three planes most commonly known in the human energetic field as ancestors, guides, and angels. 
At first you see nothing, do not worry.  That is how most people start.  Just keep at it and you will get results.  The biggest mistake people make in trying to see any of the helper beings, or in fact anything in the aura, is that they try too hard.  When you look at the aura, do not squint and try to pull anything out of it.  That is hard work and is usually unsuccessful.  Just gaze lazily in the area in which you are interested, and allow things to come to you as opposed to going to them.
And do not give up.  They are real – it may take time, but you will find them.


Dedicated to Bill
My husband, my lover, my best friend,
My soul mate, my confidant,
My holder of light at the end of every dark tunnel

Table of Contents

In our fast-paced, instant world of the 21st century, we have greatly changed from previous generations.  Some of the change is good, as technology and medicine have improved most people’s the standard of living.  However, some of it has left us isolated, and reliant on the technology.  We prize self-reliance, demand instant answers to all our questions, and instant solutions to all our problems.
Years ago, we used to reach out for help.  We relied on spiritual guidance, or on other beings - guides, angels and ancestors - that were commonly accessible through spiritual or energetic practices.  However, today, these beings have been relegated to the back shelf.  At best, we use angels as tree toppers at Christmas time or relegate them to be frilly little things for decorating house and home.  If we even mention talking to or hearing from guides, or communicating with departed family members, we will be greeted with strange looks and considered to be a candidate for a psych ward.
What a pity!
In our sophistication of the 21st century, we have discarded those things of the past that cannot be easily explained and are not of a sufficiently sensational manner to merit funding for additional research.  Angels, guides, and ancestors fall into this category. 
However, these energetic bodies are all available to us for help us and provide information for decision making.  But, sadly, we do not know how to hear them or access their knowledge.  We certainly are not educated about beings.
Alternatively, home environments no longer provide learning opportunities for the younger generation to develop communication practices for the unseen, nor any chance for the young to practice under the watchful eyes of the older, experienced generations.  A child’s “invisible friend” is considered to be cute.  It is whimsical; it is creative.  It is, in reality, his birth guide or angel.  However, it is also something taught to be discarded before adulthood.  Therefore, most children learn to shut the door on this part of their life well before entering kindergarten.  Children do as they see adults doing, and that includes life without help from the other side.  Sadly, when the time comes to need to gain access to that door again, they have forgotten how, or lack the confidence and belief that they can do it.
This book cannot reverse the technological and environmental changes that have occurred, nor would that be appropriate.  Instead, this book sets out to provide an alternative training means for recognizing opportunities to develop a relationship with these helper beings.
The journey will include theory and instruction in the human energy field, also known as the subtle body.  This energy field surrounds the physical body and is the communication layer between the physical body and the helper beings.
You will be introduced to concepts such as auras and chakras.  Auras are energy fields that surround the physical body.  Chakras are energy processing centers within the physical body. 
The introduction of the human energy field will be your road map to the higher reaches where angels, guides, and ancestors can be found.
Let the journey begin!

Friday, January 10, 2014

Angel Card Readings -without the instruction book (Show Me Series)


You needn't memorize the instruction book before reading  cards for fun or profit In fact, I encourage my students to throw out the instruction book before looking at it.

Every deck of oracle cards comes with book or sheet of paper  -usually in teeny tiny print- giving you the literal meaning of each card and pretty much set you free to memorize and read.  

However when you actually try to read cards, you find yourself frantically flipping through the little booklet.

Even so, when  you get the definition(s) correct, it sounds conjured and stiff.

The best readers I know only take the briefest of glances at the manual or ditch it altogether.   They also prefer cards with no writing or explanation on the cards themselves.

If you think about it ..if you draw the same card for ten people the odds against  it meaning exactly the same thing for all ten people are staggering.

Let's look at a simple one card draw for example- Say, we draw Raye from one of the Doreen Virtue decks.
Once you've read the little phrase at the bottom out, you are stuck, your brain won't let it think of any other meaning.  What if the literal meaning does not make sense??  What uncomfortable chit chat for the remaining 14 minutes of the reading!! So here is RAYE with the printing erased.  We get:
Calm down, take a deep breath and imagine you  are reading a child a story.  Anyone who has ever done the bedtime story routine knows that the child  can find differences in the picture every time it's read.  As well if  you are reading the story to more than one child at a time, they will each point out what pops out to them.  As well, if you were reading a picture book without words to your 6 year old boy, you would look at it differently and read it differently to your 4 year old girl.  Same book but different reading depending on the audience,  The same it is with  cards.

So sit a moment and sense what is popping out in this card today for this client.   (Or ask what the client what jumps out  them ).

If you client is big on colors, to them it could read:
The major color is purple the color of the third eye so this reading would be all about intuition or psychic ability.
The lady is dressed in blacks and  basics - reading pertains to the crux of whatever the issue is.
She's obviously being still, meditating or perhaps in lotus position for yoga.  
As she does this Light streams in and illuminates the situation so she can get answered.  
The smaller amount of green light indicates the whole situation is to do with healing.
Some people would see the wings a separate and indicative of being surrounded by angels.
Bottom line reading would be...spend time in prayer/meditation/yoga/what ever works for you - do it intensely and you will get the answers you're seeking.

How did we do?
  " Yoga and exercise are essential to your underlying peace of mind and spiritual well being right now."

We expanded the reading, personalized and made it flow while preserving the basic message and without using the book. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

(Mis-)Adventures with Angels.."Through the Eyes of a Child"

We are all born seeing angels and the invisible world around us.   Some of us bring this ability with us into adulthood knowing that we are "odd" and perceive what others do not.
Most children discard their angels ("invisible friends") along with their toddler toys when they are teased about it.  Others who want to be "all grown up" see that adults do not see angels therefore shut down their angels in order to be "grown up just like daddy" (or mommy).

I see angels - how that came about is a whole other story.   I have been on the receiving  end of many, many blessings. As my name implies, I walk AmidAngels.  I do not consider their hourly presence with me odd or miraculous.  I would consider their absence odd and even lonely.  My life has been forever changed by these heavenly  messengers.

I have traveled all across the contiguos USA doing holistic/psychic/metaphysical expos (like Victory of Light in Cincinnati) doing aura photography and chakra balancing with my aura camera/chakra biofeedback  machine. This is technically not "woo woo" as we have been able to make man made equipment  to capture this portion of the world we cannot see with our naked eye.

Often these expos have free teaching/lecture sessions for the attendees. I usually was a part of  this teaching  chakra balancing but on occasion did "Angels and Auras" which included a free mini angel reading for class attendees. 

On one such occasion, in Columbus Ohio, things were proceeding as planned.  I arrived at my classroom early (box of tissues in hand as expereince had shown me that people often find themselves overwhelmed and weepy in the presence of angels).

 I did  the promised freebie mini angel reading for the early birds -name of their major angel, any brief message the angel might have plus any other angels present.

I stopped readings to begin my prepared presentation promptly on the hour.  I was briefly alarmed by the size of he class which was approximately 30 and growing by the minute but figured I could give each their reading if I stuck to my notes and delivered the info at a good clip.

As the class room continued to swell, it became apparent that time dictated lecture or free readings but not both.  Readings it was.  I started going down the line one by one - the box of tissue getting much lighter..  As the clock ticked on, time flew by but the line up for free reading didn't seem to be shortening at all.  So, I decided to tighten things up and just do the major angel and message - ignoring any secondary angels that might be present.

I was relieved to be moving on to my third abbreviated reading, sighing a huge sigh of relief that all was going well and this was going to all work out after all.

Suddenly a 4 year old child stood on his chair.  Pointing at the first abbreviated reading i'd done, he belted out in a clear crisp voice "Hey every one, this teacher (me)is no good!!  She only told that lady about one angel. The lady has three.  Teacher missed two!".  He was right.  The lady did have three.  I had opted to talk about only one to save time

Can you say "awkward pause/awkward moment?!

So, put in my place by a child, I reverted to my full readings with no further audience input.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Angels Among Us -"Angel Resources"

In response to a recent "angel inquiry" & Parkinsons inquiry,  this blog,

An excerpt  from my book AMID ANGELS


Amid Angels

The original 2006 Herald Angel image and this book come as a result of one of my angel encounters. 

God is alive and He is in control.

My daughter, Angelica, is responsible for the basic sketch of the angel.  Computer graphics have been used to make the image available in computer format.
The HERALD ANGEL and her story are copyright pending.  Here follow  just a few of the angels.   There are many more.
(All angels with this template have been copyright 2006 
under registration TX 6-507-409.)

The author may be reached at

Amid Angels

Connie Dohan

Connie is an energy intuit and seer.  She is a gifted healer as well as a talented teacher and speaker.

She was not born this way, but rather grew into it.  Her training was initially the school of life where infirmity and unanswered questions forced her to look for solutions “outside the box”.  Because of this, her writing and teaching is understandable and easily applicable by all – especially the beginner and the one at “a fork” in one’s life’s path.

She has a practice in Ohio where she specializes in metaphysical weight loss, energy healing, soul’s calling counseling, private teaching, and mentoring. She is available for speaking or lecturing on a variety of topics


Dedicated to Bill –
My husband, my lover, my best friend,
my soul mate, my confidant,
my holder of light at the end of every dark tunnel

Table of Contents

Section One

Amid Angels


This writing is intended as a practical guide to connecting with your angels.  It is not a theoretical or spiritual writing, nor is it a response or amplification of the angel theories around angel hierarchies, angels’ names, angel colors, rays, etc. which are readily available from the internet or books   Instead this article intends to provide an every day, practical, informal, 21st century response to angels.

Chapter One

My Special Angel


Although I have seen many, many angels, this un-named one is dear to my heart and she appears in many variations of color and theme in almost everything I do.
          I get many questions about her – especially why I don't make her "fluffy and angel-like".
The answer is simple. She appeared this way!
One afternoon, I took a nasty fall. Carrying a full load of laundry, I could not see that the next step - second from the top - had a carton of Mountain Dew on it.  I flipped over the case and fell head long down the full flight of stairs.  I was alone, badly shaken and could not call out for help or reach a phone.
Just as my head was hitting the wall at the bottom of the stairs I felt a “cushion” materialize to break my fall. Looking up, I saw that it was not a cushion but part of the raiment of the hugest heavenly being I could ever imagine.  All facial features were obliterated by an unearthly white light; the hair was every color yet colorless  As well the raiment and wings were a kaleidoscope of every texture, color and experience in earth and heaven.  No earthly words can capture the splendor.
          The angel quite matter-of-factly appeared, picked me up, dusted me off and sent me on my way without so much as a scratch or a bruise to show for the incident. A sprinkling of laundry all over the room was the only testament to the fact that something had gone awry.  I was stuck in a time warp.  The incident seemed to last forever but at the same time was timeless and transpired in just a moment of time.
The angel did not give a name and I did not think to ask. So now, I just fondly say “my angel” or “Connie’s angel”.
Some angels may be "light and fluffy" but a big strong one suits me just fine!

This writing is intended as a practical guide to connecting with your angels.  It is not a theoretical or spiritual writing, nor is it a response or amplification of the angel theories around angel hierarchies, angels’ names, angel colors, rays, etc. which are readily available from the internet or books   Instead this article intends to provide an every day, practical, informal, 21st century response to angels.
 Chapter Two

My Angel Certification

To me seeing angels everywhere is the norm; not to see them would be abnormal.

As I daily walked with real angels, people started asking me questions.  As I answered, more and more people came. While totally confident in my angel messages, answers and pictures, as an energy worker, I knew there were numerous “angel training / certification” programs in the world. I decided that it would be the proper and responsible thing for me to complete a good one – the sooner the better.

Yikes - well over $2,000!!  Well surely Spirit would provide! So I sat at my kitchen table, bank book and different angel course registration forms in front of me and began juggling accounts about in an attempt to find some workable solution to my “angel certification” dilemma.

Totally engrossed in what was becoming an increasingly difficult problem, a voice I innately knew as the voice of God said out loud, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out how to become angel certified.” I replied without missing a beat.

“I can certify you.” replied the Voice.

“You can?” I said incredulously.

“Certainly – I created them and I can certify you in them.” the Voice responded in a matter of fact tone.

‘’But what about all the cherubim, the seraphim and all the Thee’s and Thou’s and names I can’t begin to pronounce?” I gasped.

A gentle warm chuckle spread though the room as the Voice said back to me “Get with it woman!  While acknowledging all these things, this is the 21st century! I’ve got angels for computers and all sorts of gizmos you guys haven’t even invented yet!! I have angels with names foreign to you.  I also have angels with names like Gregory (seer) and Andrew (strong) and Joy. These ‘every day’ angels have much to offer.”

“OK“ I said, “Show me.”

So began a marvelous and on-going adventure.

 Angel Humor

As you get to know angels and angel energy, you will find angels have quite a sense of humor, often quite dry.  Because they have never had a human body, they do not understand any of our idioms and often take us at our word literally. 

One of my favorite examples of this would be Matt’s first encounter with angels.  I had been encouraging Matt for some time about the existence of angels and their presence in his life. He was of the “I believe, but show me” frame of mind.

He travelled often with work.  During one evening of one trip, travelling through the hills of Virginia, he was feeling especially despondent and gloomy.  He decided to try calling out to the angels as I had suggested. He said out loud “All right angels in the back seat of the car – I can’t see you, but Connie says you’re there.  I just need some sign – a light at the end of the tunnel here.” 

Sure enough, the next mountain tunnel he went through, he saw a Bud Lite beer truck on the side of the road. Literally, there was “Light” (Lite) at the end of the tunnel.

Children and Angels

Much has been written about angels and children.  From a practical perspective, what you need to bear in mind is that young children see angles until other children and adults tease them about it.  In effect, the teasing results in a training of their minds such that they believe that angels are only imaginary. 

Most children have invisible friends; in reality, these are their angels.  It is often the last time children see angels because they have been conditioned to grow up and leave their “childish” ways behind.  Furthermore, grown-ups don’t see angels, and the children, often desiring to be grown up, assume the same beliefs and behaviors as the adults around them – not believing in the existence of angels.

H                                             How Do I See Angels?

This is probably the most frequently asked questions I get.  In response to your many queries, seeing them is just one of the ways in which I perceive angels. Other ways include the following:

·         I can just “know” one is there (clair- cognizance) or I can just feel a presence (clair-sentiei                                        nce).  In both these cases, automatic drawing captures the picture.
·         If I hear them either audibly or inaudibly (just a voice in my head) I will also know of their being with me, and therefore I am able to start drawing them.
·         I see them in my mind’s eye – psychically (3rd eye) or they can be “real” and be seen with my natural eyes.
Sometimes a colored orb alerts me to an angel trying to appear. With a little assistance, the orb turns into an abstract angel type form and then into an angel

Chapter Six

Holey Angel


Named because of its shape, this whimsical angel has brightened many a day for me.  I’ve had it printed on banners and business cards, and it still serves as my business logo.

Like all the rest of my angels, I’ve had the template shape copyrighted as a normal business procedure.

One day my phone rang and the man on the other end said, “You don’t know me, but I’m calling about your rainbow angel – the one where a hole is where its body should be.”

“Oh, yes.” I replied. 

Coming straight to point, as men do, he asked me how much I would charge him to use the “little fellow” just once.
Not the type of question I expected that morning nor any morning, I was caught off guard and at a little loss for words. 

The male voice leaped in, filling the silence.  “Yes, it’s for my wife”, he said. 

“Oh?” I queried. 

He replied, “Yes, she just loves him and gets all choked up when she sees him.” 

I was enjoying a bit of a warm glow at the knowledge that something I had done had such an effect on another person. 

“Yes, we’ve discussed it.” he said, “And we want it to be her birthday present.”

“What a fine idea.”  I replied. 

“Yes”, replied the man.  “She wants to have it tattooed on her butt.  And I didn’t want you finding out about by seeing it on a nude butt in Jamaica.”

They call me the “Angel Lady”, and I’ve had many questions about angels, but this one tops the list as far as unusual goes.

And for your information, if you should happen to see a nude butt with a tattoo of my holey angel on it, yes, it was used with permission.

      Chapter Seven

Angels Everywhere

I know that angels exist for I have seen them with my human eye many times.  I don’t consider their participation in my life odd or out of the ordinary.  However, I would consider their absence bizarre.
I believe they are active in everyone’s life but don’t always show themselves or we don’t always see them.
I know angels can take many forms & will manifest themselves in the way most appropriate to the situation at hand.
Angels can touch our lives in very subtle or very profound ways.  A few personal examples follow.

The Single Angel

My husband and I stopped at a local Bob Evans for supper one evening.  While waiting for our order to arrive, I glanced around the room.  My gaze happened up-on a young woman with two girls whose ages I guessed to be five and six.
I noticed that the older of the two children was surrounded by at least a dozen rainbow colored angels of all shapes and sizes.

I felt strongly impressed to strike up conversation with the lady about the angel presence.  Common sense and logic quickly chimed in and proceeded to talk me out of it.  My gut kept churning and I knew I’d not sleep that night if I didn’t try and talk with the lady.  After all, she was a complete stranger. If I made a fool out of myself, I’d never see her again.

So, mustering up all my courage, I sidled up along side her at the check out.  I decided the best approach would be to come straight to the point.

“Excuse me,” I said “Do you mind if I ask you if you believe in angels?”

“Why, yes I do” she replied.

“Then would you mind if I told you about the angels around this older of the two girls who is your daughter I presume?”  I replied.

“Go right ahead” she encouraged.’

So, I told her about the troupe of rainbow colored angels and how they were operating in her life.  Then with a sigh of relief, I said silently to Spirit “There I did it”.

The thought had not yet cleared my brain when I felt my stomach turning as I heard the woman’s voice say “How lovely.  Now what can you tell me about the younger girl?”
I had seen nothing as I was so focused on the older girl’s entourage.  I shifted my feet feeling awkward and took another look.  Feeling quite embarrassed and hoping for a soon and speedy retreat, I apologized and said “She only has one small green angel who appears to be hugging her heart”.

A tear rolled down the woman’s cheek as she embraced me and said “She’s waiting for a heart transplant”.

The Busy Angel

          On a long airplane trip made even longer by weather delays, I took my window seat & settled in, hoping I’d be able to stretch into the seat beside me and wondering if it was taken.

          I gave a little sigh as woman slid into to the seat beside me.  I hoped she wouldn’t be talkative.  I felt an odd pressure in the space between us and glanced over to see what the cause might be.  I noticed an angel facing the woman’s torso & flapping his wings and arms about in a frenzied fashion.

          “Good grief!” I blurted out without thinking, “Is there any reason you’d have an angel with you – right there?” as I pointed to the spot.

          She gasped and looked stunned and relieved at the same time.”  My goodness yes” she replied.  I am a very recent kidney donor –less than a week ago.  I’m travelling against doctor’s orders to a family funeral across country. 

          The last hour or so has been quite uncomfortable.   I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to make it.
          Where you are pointing is exactly the incision line.  You had no way of knowing.  Thank you so much”.

The Helping Hand
It has been my experience that “angel encounters” occur in life’s every day chores and activities.  This was the case with the “angel encounter” I call The Helping Hand.
It 1983 and I was out doing my big monthly grocery shop with eighteen month son Matthew in tow. It was a very ordinary activity on a very ordinary day.
You must realize that at that time, a grocery cart was just that – a grocery cart.  It was a large raised basket on wheels with a handle for pushing.  There were no such things as toddler seats or safety harnesses.
It was typical for any grocery store at that time to have several mothers pushing these carts.  Trying to keep both toddler and groceries in the cart was no easy task.  Toddlers routinely played with all the “crushables” whilst trying to escape the confines of the cart to explore the exciting colourful world beyond.
The air was customarily filled with mothers’ warnings.  ”Don’t stand up!” “Stay sitting!” “Watch or you’ll fall out of the cart!”
My case was no different.  Matthew was situated in the cart and was supposed to be seated – but was often caught standing and stretching.  I was attempting to contain my son while at the same time fill up the cart with groceries as fast as possible.
Going down the laundry detergent aisle, one of a mother’s fears was realized.  My toddler stood up awkwardly – stepping on the bag of frozen peas.  In doing so, he flipped backwards falling out of the cart.
There was nothing I could do but watch as he careened head first toward the concrete floor while images of hospitals and head injuries raced through my panicked mind.
Suddenly and unexpectedly, as my son’s body was completely parallel with the floor, a huge hand appeared under him and righted him back into the cart.
Then, just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared.  My son was safe and sound as we faced each other with odd looks on our faces.
A perfect ending to this would be that Matthew learned to stay seated in shopping baskets.  To the contrary as he often told me his big angel was there and wouldn’t let him fall.  I never saw the angel – just his hand that once.  However, I can say that my son was sure taken care of in bizarre and unusual ways through his very adventurous growing up boy years.

Section Two



I didn’t always have wall of credentials & I didn’t always see angels. Nor had I experienced the White healing Light or the fabulous door way referred to as Death.

I was an average busy young woman balancing career, household & an active social life when I suddenly became incapacitated and met Pain.

                                                              Chapter Four

Parkinson’s Disease

I Have PD: It Doesn’t' Have Me

It never ceases to amaze me how often people diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease give up & wait for disability & death to overtake them.

Men & women who have survived war, women who have done natural drug free labour –hear the four words “You have Parkinson’s Disease” & they crumble - become frail, turned in on themselves. They just give up

I often say they’ve already died but haven’t had the courtesy to get buried. They are walking corpses giving off the smell of death – complaining, not trying. They have P.D. & they are darn well going to make sure the rest of the world knows it & what a terrible burden it is.

Often, but not always, these are seniors who have had opportunity to raise children, follow career paths, travel, establish retirement funds.
Having PD is not the news anyone wants to hear but get real – it could certainly be many hundred of times worse. Everyone gets some THING to deal with in life & as far as THINGS go, PD is not the worst.
You could have something really painful – like irritable bowel syndrome. You could have something worse –inoperable brain tumor or Louis Gherig’s .You could have been born in this era in a poor country where if you actually survived into adulthood, meds for PD are just not available.  You could have been born 20-30 years earlier - before the current drugs were available even in the prosperous countries like the USA.
It does matter how a Parkinsonian carries him/herself. What if a neighbor, your spouse, your child, your sibling becomes diagnosed with PD somewhere along life’s road? Will they think back to the only Parkinsonian they know (you) & see a life of complaining & medical appliances?
For those with young onset PD – What example are you setting for your children? Will they follow your example when they hit their own stumbling blocks on life’s path? Will they give up or overcome?
 I have Parkinson’s Disease – it does not have me. I have incorporated it into my life path, it has not incorporated me.
I am 49 & truly grateful for each breath I draw, each extra moment I have with my children, each sunset viewed, each warm embrace from my husband, each fresh crop of strawberries I encounter
.         I challenge any one of you to take the time to count the really good things in your life. Soon you’ll find you’re so busy encountering the good that you have no time to find the bad. Don’t give me complaints or excuses - I guarantee you whatever your whine, I can do you one better.
          I have -had PD 14 years (since age 35)-misdiagnosed for 10 years – everything from hypochondria to MSA (You’ve got 3 months left to live. Expect a long & lingering death as meds are not helpful in MSA).
While misdiagnosed, I remained-stiff, incontinent of urine, drooling often– fed and dressed by my young children whilst undergoing bankruptcy. 
I was a-mother trying to raise two high maintenance children – one with depression, one with Asperger’s syndrome.
I was-unable to continue a nursing career or any -y of my hobbies /talents developed over the first three decades of my life piano, handicrafts, public speaking.
I was undergoing a-major move (to US from Canada) leaving all friends & family to come to a complete unknown
-I h.aving enough training (registered nurse) to know long term effects of PD on the human body and knew the future was not rosy

 And there is more but…
I am thankful.
Having PD did not rob me of a career but forced me to stay home & develop a unique & cherished relationship with each of my offspring. I will never regret that part of it.
Having PD did not force me to give up the hobbies I loved but nudged me over to find some new ones I would never have dreamed could give me so much satisfaction - metal detecting, geneaology.
Having PD did take me off life’s busy highway & allow me to carve out my own path on which I can stop to smell the flowers along the way.
I volunteer at schools & local agencies. I chaperone the teenage school events – including overnight excursions, I run a small business on the net.  (NONE of my clients even know I have PD- unless they read this!).  I hit the pool five days a week and exercise for fifteen minutes whether I feel like it or not..
Sure, I drop things, shake & fall but I laugh at myself & carry on. It doesn’t take the rest of the world more than a brief encounter to become comfortable with me & yes ask lots of questions about PD. (Those who know me laughingly refer to it as Connie’s one on one PD public awareness campaign!)
I travel alone internationally – Canada and Jamaica. Sometimes it’s a “disaster” & I end up on the “side lines’ in a borrowed wheel chair in a foreign country. But you know what – life on the sidelines is not bad, just different. In Jamaica for example, I “missed” the big coffee tour but for a few hours was surrounded by real locals who shared their  customs and their hospitality with me. It was an experience none of the other travelers had and money couldn’t buy.  If I’d tried to arrange it, I couldn’t have done so.
I paint my toe nails neon blue & just last week did my hair up using my daughter’s metallic green spiker gel.
We laugh a lot at my house – if we didn’t I don’t know how we’d make it through.  (Sometimes I swear neighbours drop by just to see what bizarre chain of events has got the Dohans laughing this time).
Sure some days seem overwhelming but then we do it hour by hour instead of day by day. 
PD is too big for me to handle alone. First thing
every morning, I pray “God cure me or carry me” & then truly leaving the matter up to Him go about the day.
You can set the tone for the circle around you. You can whine & complain & make those around you miserable too or create a bit of joy in your life & in the lives of those around you!

      Chapter Five

My Journey with Parkinson’s Disease

I found myself in my early thirties with 2 young children, a husband & advanced Parkinson's Disease
Stiff & shaky, I was often incontinent of urine, needed lots of help dressing.  It was an ordeal of momentous proportions to "get mother ready" just to move about the apartment - never mind to the car & out.  At night I drooled excessively & had to sleep standing up strapped against a wall in order to be able to breathe.

So I wailed out to the universe (not expecting an answer) "God, why don't you just take me now & quickly?!"  To my surprise & consternation, a reply came, "Because it's not time yet."

Bound, by the chains of Parkinson's, exhausted beyond words, feeling I had nothing to lose by carrying on this inane conversation with the voice of God, I replied, "So when is my time - & why can't it be now??"
The voice replied, "It is not for you to know the time & it is not soon"

I replied, "But God, I'm a nurse.  I know that nobody ever gets cured of Parkinson's Disease - it only gets worse.  I can't imagine continuing to live this way."

The result - silence from the great beyond.  In my irreverence, I thought that either I had stumped the Big Guy, or at least put Him in His place.  Fortunately, sanity and reverence kicked in.  I decided I didn't have an answer because I had asked the wrong question.

So I queried, "God, how can You expect me to live like this.  You know that nobody has ever been cured of Parkinson's disease." 

 The voice responded, "Oh, really!"

I began listing famous people with Parkinson's - some still alive, others who had died with Parkinson's:  the Pope, Janet Reno, Mohammad Ali, Michael J. Fox, Mao Tse-tung, and others.  To this, the Voice responded "You're correct." My response was "So. if  I can't live with this and, if the rich and famous, with all their connections, can't be cured, how do you expect me to be healed?"

In almost childlike simplicity and innocence, the very wizened voice responded, "Why can't you be the first?" 
I said, "Fine God, make it happen".  The response - no instant miracle, but rather the start of a journey
Almost a quarter of a century later, most people don't even realize that I have Parkinson's when they meet me for the first time. 
 Many of the techniques on my website are ones that I've found, modified, learned in order to cope initially and then diminish the signs and symptoms of Parkinson's to where today they are barely noticeable
Much of what is on has been a part of my healing process.  I believe that all things are possible, but some things just take longer than others. 

 And my purpose for this writing is to share what has taken me a quarter of a century to learn with the hope that it can help others who may find themselves in "supposedly" impossible situations.